Dr. Michael Wayne

Yoga Humor

Zombie Yoga!!!In the last few articles during this series on movement and exercise, I’ve discussed yoga and its relationship to living a Low Density Lifestyle.

I gave you 10 outstanding yoga videos, and then in the next article I explained the history of yoga.

Today, I will continue talking about yoga, but I will switch gears and have some fun by offering up some yoga humor.

Now you may remember that a few months ago, during the series on humor, I discussed how humor and laughter were things that helped you to feel lighter of mind, body and spirit, and thus were great tools for helping to get into Low Density Lifestyle mode.

So in that vein, I thought it’d be a good mix to combine yoga with some humor. Now, although Laughter Yoga is a form of yoga, that’s not what I’m discussing here.

So let’s start it off. First, if you watch the above video, you’ll see Zombie Yoga, with a very large Zombie Yoga class. If you’re a zombie, or considering becoming a zombie, you may want to watch how they do yoga, so that you can do the moves on your own.

Next, courtesy of The Onion, here are the top reasons Americans are doing yoga – and could it be true that Americans are doing yoga so that they can tap into the ancient wisdom of Californians?:

Next up, are some yoga jokes:

Question: How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb?
Answer: Only one – but he will need a sticky mat, a backless chair,
five blankets, a bolster, six ropes, two belts, six assorted benches,
three weights, and a certificate.

Question: What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say?
Answer:  Inquire within!

Question:  Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when
having his wisdom teeth removed?  Answer:  He
wanted to transcend-dental-medication.

When teaching Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) by putting a ball
between a student’s knees so they will not splay the legs apart,
this was said to a male yoga student:  “Wow!  You could fit two
balls between your legs!”

Yoga is excellent for un-kinking the muscles and the spine.
It is great if you’re really kinky.

The Yogini says to the hot dog vendor:
“Make me one with everything.”

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I see that I should
have been more specific.
–   Jane Wagner

The Ananda Yogi says to his pupil: “Do you understand that you
don’t really exist?”  The pupil replies, “To whom are you speaking?”

Eternal nothingness is okay if you’re dressed for it.
–   Woody Allen

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
–   Lily Tomlin

Student Exam Bloopers

1) A student wrote, “The universe is a giant orgasm” (instead of organism).  At the end of the student’s essay, the teacher riposted, “Your answer gives new meaning to the Big Bang Theory.”

2) “Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.”

3) “When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.”

When two Behaviorist Yogis met, one said:
“You are fine.  How am I ?”

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails
down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon
her fingernails were growing normally.  Her friend asked her if yoga had
totally cured her nervousness.  “No,” she replied, “but now I can reach
my toe-nails so I bite them instead.”

And last on the yoga humor list is a video that comes from the folks at Yoga Journal, and is about Ogden, the Inappropriate Yoga Guy:

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