Dr. Michael Wayne

Making Other People Happy Will Make You Happy

Shiny happy people
Shiny happy people

The Happiness series continues this week (for its final week) with a look at a very basic truth, a truth that stems from the question that I asked with the very first article in this series.

The question was: Are you happy?

Every article since in this Happiness series has played on that question.

The article on the country of Bhutan told you about a nation that put the happiness of its citizens as its number one priority in terms of formulating laws.

And the article on Happiness and Your Job discussed an important ingredient to happiness: the kind of work you do. It’s so true that if you’re not doing work that you enjoy, then it’s much harder to feel happy.

The basic truth then is this: You can make yourself happy by making other people happy…

…And one of the best ways to make other people is to be happy yourself.

But how do you know if you’re making other people happy? What are some signs?

Well, check out the below list and see if the following statements are true for you:

* Do people seem to feel comfortable confiding in you?
* Do people follow your recommendations?
* Are you a source of material comfort or security for someone else?
* Do people whom you’ve introduced often go on to have a
continuing relationship?
* Do people seem to drift toward you? Join a conversation that
you’re having, sit down next to you at a meeting?
* Are you providing opportunities for other people – job leads,
blind dates, contacts in a new city?
* Do people whom you hardly remember go out of their way to
greet you warmly? Say, an intern who worked in your office three
years ago, or a former student?
* Do people seem to want to connect with you — by making plans
or by emailing, calling, or texting?
* Do people seem energized by you? Do they smile and laugh in
your presence?

Notice some items that are not on the list:

* Do people remember your birthday?
* Do people give you presents (say, for Mothers’ Day, or in
recognition of an important milestone)?
* Do people express appreciation and gratitude for your efforts?

Even if you’re making people happy, they don’t always respond by making these gestures. (Which can be annoying.)

And so, if you want to find happiness for yourself, consider if you’re helping others be happy.

Because if you are making others happy, your life is a true gift, both to yourself and to others.

I think it’s a lot easier for most people to make other people unhappy. It takes much more work to make people happy. Because to do so means you have to live your life conscientiously and with a certain degree of mindfulness and self-realization.

And you have to be living a Low Density Lifestyle.

But it’s not hard to do. You too can be happy and at the same time make other people happy.

I finish today’s article by leaving you with this question: Are you happy? Do you make other people happy?

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